9 Tips for Exclusive Pumping as a Surrogate
All I can say is, my poor boobs.
If you had a successful breastfeeding journey with your child, I would just throw that knowledge out the window for your exclusive pumping journey as a surrogate.
I was a breastfeeding champ with my keeper babe. I read very minimal information on breastfeeding, never met with a lactation consultant and really just relied on the advice of my mom (who had 10 years of collective breastfeeding experience between her five kids). My daughter latched instantly in the hospital and we had very minimal, if any issues during our one year exclusive breastfeeding journey.
Going into exclusively pumping as a surrogate I thought, “How different could it be for breastfeeding?” I could not have been more wrong. Within the first week of pumping I realized this was going to be significantly harder than breastfeeding my baby.
Since I could barely find anything online, I wanted to put together a guide for other surrogates to help navigate their pumping journey.
- The good, the bad and the peeling nipples
Okay I shouldn’t make the pumping sound all terrible. The hormone release was really good for my current emotional state, and I found an indescribable joy in being able to provide nourishment to a baby. But you guys, I had stuff happen to me that NEVER happened when I was breastfeeding. I would tell my friend and just be like, “WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!!!”
Everyone talks about dry and cracked nipples, I was prepared for that. But wait, there’s more!
I did have the most amazing Intended Parents (IP). They told me that if it was too difficult to honestly not worry about it. If I had to do it again, I probably would have just given the parents my colostrum and then called it quits.
Middle of the Night Pumps
Waking up to pump is so much different than a baby waking you up to feed. When my daughter would wake me up, I would just lay on my side, shove her on the boob and then fall back asleep. I know this is not the suggested thing to do but don’t come at me, she turned out just fine.
When you’re waking up to pump, you have to physically get up out of your bed, be sitting in an upright position and then pump. THEN you have to put the milk away, label the bags and wash the bottles. After that was all done it took me another 20-30 minutes to fall back asleep, if I could even get back to sleep.
Want to skip your middle of the night pump? That’s cute. Even if you don’t get woken up by your alarm your boobs will make sure to let you know it’s time to scoot your bottom out of bed. I eventually got to a place where I could go a six hour stretch without pumping at night, but had to wait until my supply was established.
The first time I slept through the night after I was done pumping was the most glorious sleep of my life (yes, I’m going to be dramatic and say my life, but that’s how it felt). I slept from around 9pm to 10am the next day. I shot up out of bed so confused. Did I really just sleep that long? Oh my god I just slept 13 hours straight! I probably could have cried. It was glorious.
Chained to the Pump
I’m sure it goes without saying, but my whole life basically revolved around pumping. For the first 6 weeks I was pumping every 3 hours so I could establish my supply. Anything I scheduled I had to make sure it wasn’t within a 1 hour time period of needing to pump. We only had a short window to run errands. God forbid we were out for too long because I’d surely be busting through the door once we got home to hook up to my milking machine.
Once I was able to stretch out my pumps to around every 5 hours, my life became a lot easier, but it also made it a lot harder to continue to pump. Every time I tasted a little bit of freedom, I just wanted a little bit more.
Peeling Nipples
Yes, you read that right. About 5 or 6 days after I started pumping, I noticed the pores on my nipples were bubbling up. I was scouring online for what this may be and the only thing I could come up with was that it was a Milk Bleb (it wasn’t, but I did end up getting those later on). I called the Lactation Consultant from the hospital and she sounded confused, not knowing what was wrong.
I started doing epsom salt baths for my boobs. Every time I pumped I would soak my nipples in hot water with epsom salts for about 5 minutes. So fun.
After about 3ish days the top layer of my nipple started sloughing off. Yes, the top layer of my nipple literally started falling off in pieces. I remember yelling from the bathroom, “My nipple is falling off!” My husband ran into the bathroom (thinking my nipple was literally falling off). But that’s how it felt. Don’t worry, a pretty layer was growing underneath. It did not make the experience less painful and terrifying though. Before you say anything, yes I was putting a nipple cream on religiously after each pumping session. My nipples weren’t dry, they just apparently needed to shed.
I finally called my mom and she goes, “Oh yeah that’s totally normal.” I’m sorry, what! Once again, why does no one talk about these things. And why the hell did my Lactation Consultant not know anything about it.
Milk Blebs
These ones aren’t so bad. Basically a pore of your nipple has skin grow over it, and milk gets stuck underneath. It basically looks like a blister with milk underneath it. It’s not as painful as the peeling nipples, but still painful.
Anytime I didn’t rinse off my boobs after pumping I ended up developing a milk bleb within a couple days and would have to go through the whole process of epsom salt baths for my boobs again. It’s honestly more of a pain in the ass.
Blood Blisters
This was my final straw with pumping. I was about 7 weeks postpartum and had gotten up for my 7am pump on a Sunday. After I had put away the milk, I noticed my nipple was feeling a little more tender than usual. I pulled down my bra to see a literal blood blister on my nipple. A blood blister!
I couldn’t pump on that side and so each pumping session I had to hand express or use a Haakaa manual pump to get the milk out.
That was it, I was done. At the time I was pumping and donating to a local baby. I said, “You know what Universe, I thought I was doing a nice and good thing but apparently you don’t think so!”
My friend called it a 2020 level prank from the Universe and she was so right.
2. The Essentials
Depending on your contact, most of these products can probably be covered in your pumping supplies by your IPs. If you are a surrogate with NW Surrogacy, you should be able to send your receipts directly to accounting for processing as long as your contract covers pumping supplies. I would get all of this stuff ahead of time. Take it from someone who learned the hard way.
Disclaimer: I am not some fancy influencer. None of these links are affiliate, just my opinion of the best essentials to get for your pumping journey.
A Good Pump
You will want to find a good pump. Your insurance company should cover one and you can order them online https://aeroflowbreastpumps.com/ or pick one up at your local Norco. Personally I had issues ordering mine online (through a different site) and ended up picking one up at Norco anyway.
I had the Madela Freestyle pump. It wasn’t my favorite, but it got the job done. I’ve heard great things about the Spectra pumps. Anything you can find that is medical grade should be solid.
The two most important things are going to be suction and durability. Just because a pump has a high setting doesn’t mean the suction is going to be great. From my research the Spectra 3 is the best for both these attributes. My Madela’s motor started making funny sounds after only about 6 weeks. I can’t imagine it would have been able to last much longer.
Nipple Cream
Yeah, don’t skip this one. I got the Bamboobies “Boob-Ease” (haha) nipple cream and it worked great. You can honestly go with whatever organic (or non-organic, I don’t judge) nipple butter. I’ve linked a few that I heard good things about.
Earth Mamma Organic Nipple Butter
Reusable Breast Pads
I decided to go with reusable breast pads mainly because it was better for the environment, but they ended up being a lot easier to deal with. There were a couple times I had to use the disposable breast pads and they were such a pain to get opened and into your bra. You can get a stack of the reusable pads from Amazon for pretty cheap and depending on your contract you can get it covered by your IPs.
Pumping Bras
This item is 100% essential. Don’t get the strap that wraps around, get an actual pumping bra. There are so many different pumping bras you can get. My favorite by far was this one that I got off Amazon. It comes with a bra extender and probably is best about holding the flanges in places. I also put a link to one of the higher end bras I would have liked to get, but didn’t feel like spending the money.
I would make sure to get at least 2 pumping bras. With how much you’ll be pumping, you’ll have one on at all times.
Amazon Option
More Expensive Option
Babmoobies Soothing Nursing Pillows
These babies were amazing. After my nipple peeling episode, they literally became a lifesaver. It was like a sauna for your boobs and it was amazing. I would save yourself the pain and just get these ahead of time.
You can also throw these in the freezer and use them as cooling pads. I never did that, but it still sounds very nice if you were to have mastitis or something.
So typically moms get these to catch the letdown when they are feeding their baby on the other side. I used it for my epsom salt baths for my boobs. At first when I nipples started peeling, I was putting my boob in a bowl of hot epsom salt water. This was difficult because I had to literally lean over a table to do it. With the Haakaa I could just fill it up with the water & then suction it to my breast.
The Haakaa also came in handy when I got a blood blister and couldn’t use my Madela to express.
Haakaa Breast Shells Milk Saver (Haakaa Ladybug)
These were seriously amazing and they are so cute. They look like little ladybugs! I essentially used these to catch my milk in the middle of the night so I could stop waking up with my milk pads completely soaked. They also helped a ton when I was weaning my supply to help stop me from getting so engorged.
These are by far my favorite bags to store milk in. They seal really well and don’t leak when you freeze them. AND they have adapters (see below).
When I bought my last bag of milk bags, I saw there were 2 little adapters in there. Where had these been my entire journey! You could literally attach them to your pump and pump directly into your bags as opposed to having to pump into a bottle and then transfer to a bag. I was so mad that I didn’t discover these until my 8th week of pumping, but at least I got to use them for about a week.
Traveling/Hands Free Pump
I personally did not need a 2nd pump or a hands free pump because I worked from home and typically wasn’t away from my house for more than a couple hours. If you do have to work and are intending to pump, I would look into a hands free pump. If I was working in an office I definitely would have purchased one but it wasn’t necessary for my current lifestyle.
I’ve linked a couple good ones below. There are cheaper options but these two are by far the most convenience and best working from what I’ve researched.
3. Building a Milk Supply
I started pumping about 5 hours after I had the baby. The first day I only managed to pump about half an oz of colostrum. Since I had a c-section, my body wasn’t really registering that the baby was born and needed to start making milk. From there I was pumping around every 3 hours to establish my supply. You essentially want to be pumping as often as the baby is eating. I would pump at 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, 12am, 3am and 6am.
I was able to start skipping one middle of the night pump once I was around 2 weeks postpartum without impacting my supply. I started skipping the 3am pump so I could get a bit more sleep. I’m not sure if it was skipping as much as it was just me not waking up to the 3am alarm. 6am was about as long as I could go without being in pain from engorgement.
I’ve linked a few helpful YouTube videos on how to build/establish your supply as an exclusive pumper. I’m definitely not an expert here and can only speak from my experience. But I can tell you that step 1 is definitely to start pumping every 2 to 3 hours.
Around 6 weeks (when I went back to work) I was able to start spacing out my pumps to every 5 or 6 hours. I pumped at 7am, 12pm, 5pm and 10pm. I was able to go from 10pm to 7am without pumping or getting too engorged. This is when the Haakaa Ladybug pumps came in handy.
4. Support Groups
I felt so lost when I started exclusively pumping. Like I mentioned, this was SO different from my breastfeeding experience. So I did what everyone does, I found a Facebook group. All jokes aside, I found some pretty amazing groups that helped me get through my journey. I highly suggest joining one (or a few) if you’re considering exclusively pumping.
When you get to Facebook just search for “Exclusive Pumping” and you should also be able to find one specifically for surrogates by searching “Exclusive Pumping Surrogates”. I learned so much just by reading the posts and through the comments. Not to mention, these are probably some of the most supportive and encouraging people I’ve ever encountered. Just other exclusive pumping moms on their journey.
I honestly just found so much peace finding people that I could relate with. I wasn’t the only one going through these things and could also be a support for other mammas who were also struggling.
I did learn that there is a whole other world of acronyms in the exclusive pumping world. Here are a few so you’re not as confused as I was when I first joined.
EP = Exclusively Pumping
LO = Little One (I literally had to google this one, I could never figure it out)
BM = Breast Milk
OPP = Ounces Per Pump
OPD = Ounces Per Day
PPD = Pumps Per Day
MOTN = Middle of The Night
APNO = All Purpose Nipple Ointment
PP = Postpartum
LC = Lactation Consultant
5. Storing in the Freezer
Make some space in your freezer because you’re going to need it. Luckily I was able to get rid of milk weekly, but as my supply grew, my freezer space dwindled.
- Don’t fill your bag more than 6oz. If they get too full they are harder to stack flat
- Lay the milk bag flat. I would use the fridge shelf on the door. Alternating the way the bag is laying you can stack about 6-8 bags on top of each other.
- Once I had 8 frozen bags I would put them in a ziploc gallon freezer bag. Once I had another 8 I would seal the bag and repeat.
I could fill about 3 gallon bags in a week and would ship that off to the parents and it was around 200 oz.
6. Shipping to the Parents
Shipping wasn’t too difficult, but it was kind of annoying. Not to mention extremely expensive. Of course if someone is having a baby via surrogate, they can typically afford this luxury. But part of me still always felt so bad when I submitted a $264 receipt for overnight shipping (Washington to New York).
Milk Stork
You can ship with a company called Milk Stork. The up front cost is a little steep, but you are essentially paying for convenience. Depending on where you’re shipping to, it may be cheaper to ship with Milk Stork instead of gathering all of the supplies and shipping via FedEx.
To order, you will go to Milk Stork’s website and order the “Stash Shipper”. This holds up to 180oz and comes with a prepaid shipping label. The shipper will get sent to your door and then you can drop it off at your local FedEx to be overnighted to the IPs. (Don’t use their bags, they suck and leak)
Make sure to ship out on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. You want to avoid the milk sitting in a shipping center over a weekend and possibly getting ruined.
If you decide to not go the Milk Stork route, I’ve put together some helpful steps.
Supplies (linked)
- Ziploc Gallon Freezer Bags
- Scotch Heavy Duty Shipping Tape
- Thermo Chill Foam Shipper (I got the 17 X 10 X 8 & 1/4th)
- Newspaper Packing Paper
- Dry Ice or Dry Ice Packs
- The packs aren’t actual dry ice so you don’t have to disclose it when shipping. These were great and kept the milk frozen if you were shipping overnight.
Packing the Milk
- Freeze your ice packs in advance. I would typically freeze them the night before and they were ready the next morning. (I would typically freeze 4 sheets if I was shipping 3 gallon size bags of milk)
- If you haven’t already, put your milk bags into the gallon freezer bag.
- Put a layer of newspaper packing paper at the bottom of your foam box
- Layer ice packs
- Put in your bags of milk. You should be able to have them sitting up and they’ll fit tight in the box.
- Another layer of ice packs.
- Layer of newspaper packing paper
- Put the styrofoam lid on top
- I would always put a joke on the lid so when they opened it up the answer would be on the inside of the lid. For example. Outside of the lid, “What type of milk do bees like?” Inside the lid, “Boo-bees”.
- Tape up the box
Shipping
- Go to your local FedEx store. I prefer FedEx just from my experience of having to overnight documents & they worked well for shipping milk.
- The parents can choose to open a FedEx account. In that case you will just need their account number and you will give that to FedEx when shipping.
- If the parents don’t get an account, you can just submit the receipt through your surrogacy centers accounting department. I went with this option and it was seamless.
- I chose the Next Day Air, arriving at 12pm. This was significantly cheaper than the 9am arrival but only about $6 more than the 2day option.
- Notify your IPs with the shipping information and tracking number.
7. Donating Milk
When I was 2 weeks postpartum, the IPs decided they would rather proceed with formula as opposed to breastmilk. The baby was thriving on formula and honestly shipping was kind of a pain in the arse. With that being said, I wasn’t really ready to end my pumping journey at the time.
I found a local milk donation group of Facebook and was able to connect with a local mom whose daughter was allergic to formula. I was able to pump for that baby for about 6 weeks and with my oversupply, give her milk for 4 weeks after I was done pumping. It was a great closure to my pumping journey.
You can also donate your milk to your local hospital or a couple other places. I’ve included some links. Personally I didn’t want to go through the process of getting my blood & milk tested to be able to donate to a hospital or more formal milk donation process. I honestly was just tired of getting poked and tested (as I’m sure most of you can understand).
8. Selling Milk
This one is actually just funny. I had read that you could make up to $1 per oz of your milk. I did all the research and found a legitimate site to sell my milk on. It had good reviews and I even found a couple YouTubers that used the website to sell their milk. It was perfect, basically a Facebook Marketplace for breastmilk.
Here are some of the responses to my ad.
Breastmilk69, “I’ll pay you 200 to let me suck the milk straight from your breasts”
Frank 22, “Hi Mrs. Kellogg, will you please sell your freshly pumped breastmilk to a young guy for their own desire and enjoyment? Frankie”
Gymdad222, “Good afternoon. I’m a male looking for breastmilk, not kink for a rigorous nutrition and workout program. I’m a first time buyer, how do we proceed?”
JplusH123, “Hi how’s it going? I just wanted to say that if you’re ever interested in selling milk to a male as a nutritional supplement, feel free to contact me at any time. I’m not interested in anything weird and/or inappropriate, strictly looking for a more natural source of nutrition. Thank you for your time and have a good day” (Can I just say, LIES!)
I’m not here to judge anyone’s fetishes, but I wasn’t really interested in feeding one.
I got maybe one legitimate response to my ad, but when I reached out to them, they never responded back to me (so I wonder if that was even legitimate?). If you’re curious, the website I used was www.onlythebreast.com
If you are adamant about selling your milk, you may be able to find a milk donation center that pays $1 per oz. The centers I found had plenty of milk so weren’t taking donations at the time I was looking to donate.
9. Weaning
As you know, I finally started to wean when I got a blood blister on my nipple. At this time I had a pretty established supply so was worried weaning would take a while. Luckily I was able to wean within a week and my breasts were completely empty around 2 weeks of weaning.
I think I was able to successfully wean and avoid mastitis by doing some of the below things.
- I started pushing out my pumps as far apart as I possibly could. The first day I pushed 8 hours, then the next day I pushed to 12 hours. By Thursday I had gone 24 hours without pumping and pumped for the very last time Thursday night at 9pm.
- I didn’t empty all the way. I would only empty about half of my breasts. I wanted to give my breasts the signal that we didn’t need to produce as much milk.
- I used my Haakaa after I was done pumping to relieve the pressure. I would empty about an oz every 24 hours.
- I also used my Haakaa Ladybug milk catchers the first couple days after I stopped pumping. This helped from my breasts getting so engorged in the first place.
- I switched to a tight sports bra. My thought process here was to essentially strangle my breasts to make it harder to produce milk.
- I cut back my calories. I got lucky in the fact that I started working out with a personal trainer the same week I decided to wean. When she was making my meal plan, I asked her to not factor in my pumping into my calories. My production literally cut in half overnight.
- If you need to you can use your pump one last time to get the remaining milk out. Basically anything left over after not pumping for a week.
The first few days were rough, but when I noticed I was producing less I was motivated to keep going. My breasts were so tender for probably a week or two after I stopped. They didn’t necessarily hurt when I touched them, but if I bumped into something or my husband tried to touch them it felt like I was charlie horsed in the boob. They were essentially off limits.
Here are some other YouTube videos that I found helpful when it came to weaning:
Even though my pumping journey was tough, it was extremely rewarding. I was able to provide nourishment to my surro-babe and a local baby. Not to mention I was able to burn all the extra calories (can anyone say pizza every day?). I hope that some of my tips were helpful to you and if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!
thegeekymamma@gmail.com
